Perspectives
5/23/2005
I spend, on average, about 13 hours EACH DAY (except for Saturdays) behind a computer. Right around four Dog Days. But hey, it's a long journey to the end, right?
That means I have about 4 hours of awake time away from the computer. And that awayness is just that. It isn't actually being engaged in meatspace; it's in running away from the thing that both drives me to divine inspiration and drives me mad at the same time.
I think a friend of mine called it "shrimping," or turning into a Sea Monkey, because of the position your body takes after practicing this behaviour for a long period of time. Yes, it's taking a toll on my health in small but accumulative ways: muscles getting flabby, eye fatigue, constant headaches, wrist and neck trouble, back problems, stress. That and I have absolutely no social life (not that I really need one). Some days, all of this mortal stress is worth the inconvenience, while other days I just feel fucking miserable.
I've decided to get away from my home computer more often and concentrate more on my poetry. If anything, I will be able to come back to the machine with fresher ideas, instead of fiddling around without any sort of life as inspiration. I also want to get my guitar cleaned up, replace the nut, get some strings, and build my callouses back up. Really invest in that mind/body connection for awhile. Of course, I still intend to keep my journal.
I'm also suffering from a mild depression triggered by the sheer lack of CD sales. I get just under 5,000 sessions a month on my web site, and I haven't sold more than 15 CDs since November. I've given all but 5 of the remaining CDs away, and because of my lifestyle and my poor decision to spend so much time behind the computer, I haven't had any real inspirational force guiding me to take the risks I need to take in order to get 'my name' out there. I'm too much of an artist and not enough of an ego to push that side of the envelope. I could use an agent, but I can't afford one. It all comes back to me, of course. But I can only do so much and right now I could really use a recharge (my mind wanders off to Castlevania, whacking candlesticks with my chain whip, turning them into hearts and eating them up).
So I've met a few creative spirits locally, quite by accident. They aren't computer musicians, though one DOES use a computer for '3d audio' mixing. He is an audio producer for a sound effects company in Burbank, CA, and the other has been writing songs on his six-string for about 20-30 years. These are the guys I've been performing my poetry with (not simultaneously). I met them at the coffee shop, and we have sort of magnetized each other. It seems that wherever one of us goes, the other two follow with their instruments, though it's never planned that way. Just kind of happens.
This weekend, I performed my poetry and played LOTS of djembe at the Blue Dome Arts Festival here in Tulsa (it's a neat local arts fair downtown - probably the coolest thing I've ever seen in Tulsa). I helped to run an ongoing "Open Stage" sponsored by Seeker's Gallery - it was for anyone with a guitar or a poem or a banjo or whatever. Some really amazing things happened there that I still haven't had time to digest. Got rather sunbaked and hot, but it was worth the sacrifice. We all suffered for our art this weekend, because it was a hot motherfucker outside. All of us were real troopers.
No real plan, but things are happening. Not sure where they are taking me, but I am starting to understand the advantage of getting together with other creative minds in the same room and encouraging each other.
I'm sure I'll slink back into my comfortable space behind the computer studio soon, but I just need a little time in meatspace. To reconnect my brain with my body and explore my immediate environment for a little while, esp. before it gets to HOT to enjoy being outside. I haven't been doing a lot of 'living' lately. Mostly just getting shit done and being frustrated most of the time. Maybe a little time away from my little corner where the blue glow always emanates will clear the cobwebs.
And it's probably evident; I sorted out my posting problems. For now. Let's hope blogger continues to actually work.
posted by novachild @ Monday, May 23, 2005,
1 Comments:
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At 7:18 PM,
Monk-in-Training said...
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Hey guy,
I went to the Blue Dome fest because of you mentioning it on your website, thanks I had a wonderful time! Tulsa needs more outlets for creativity.
