Chick Publications
3/18/2005
Haven't had an anti-christianity post in awhile, so I thought I'd rail about Chick Publications for a few minutes.
First of all, if you don't already know how eye-rollingly pathetic Chick publications can be, check out one of my favorites here: The Choice! And another: The Sissy. While they are sure-fire scary, they can also be quite fun to read and can make great party entertainment (as long as you don't invite any hardcore Christians, of course).
You've probably stumbled across these little deceptive comics in the strangest places. In bathroom stalls, adult boostore shelves, library books (esp. when you check out 'heretical' material like Harry Potter), and in my case, bundled up in large quantities in my daddy's sock drawer. My father was a minister when I was growing up (and still is, actually), and he used Chick publications to 'spread the word of God.' Granted, he also helped to make Jack Chick rather wealthy.
I won't poke fun at my own father's religious convictions, mainly out of respect for the man who co-created me. But I will poke lots of fun at Jack Chick himself. If you ever needed a good example of an ultra-paranoid, homophobic, xenophobic, intolerant, right-wing, godawful waste of a Christian, Jack Chick is your man. He is so despised throughout the world (rumor is the Vatican has a price on his head) that he's gone into seclusion. But I tell you I have SEEN the man. He carries a big "God Hates Homosexuals" sign occasionally during lunchtime downtown Tulsa. One of these days, I'll get a picture and post it here. Meanwhile, you'll just have to take my word for it. ;-)
What's the appeal of Chick Publications? Well, many fans of the little hate comics are in fact the people he is vilifying. Atheists, catholics, buddhists, homosexuals, etc etc. I enjoy them for the same reason these people do, because they are so far-out extremist and nasty that it is nearly impossible to take them seriously. But serious the are, and all the more reason for people to be aware of the devilry that is going on inbetween the pages of Chick publications.
Growing up was strange. I had Jack Chick comics all around me. I remember one comic 'revealed' that the Catholic Church was burying thousands of dead Nun babies in a mass grave under some convent in Italy. Another showed a Buddhist choking a Christian to death for preaching the 'word.' And when I was little, I thought this was normal! As you can see, I've come a long way.
Growing up wasn't all about Jack Chick, though. Sometimes it was about Robert Tilton, the kookiest, silliest television evangelist to ever hit the airwaves. And I thought he was normal, too. But he wasn't. You can read about this warped guy here. And apparently, he's back on the air (BET). I'd love to relive those childhood memories of the funny little man speaking in tongues, pausing with the oddest facial expressions, and babbling uncontrollably. But alas I don't have cable OR satellite any more. But see the man for yourself. He's a nutter.
You may remember him as the victim of some underground parody tapes where media hackers inserted fart noises into some video clips of his sermons. "Pastor Gas." Great stuff. I'd feel pity for the man, but I just can't. He brings it on himself.
Life just wouldn't be the same without greedy, religious nutcases like Chick and Tilton. It's funny what a few irrational convictions and the thirst for money will do to you. I wonder if history will remember either of these men, or if my grandchildren and beyond will be fortunate enough to bypass the slimy marks these sad fuckers left behind?
To say I had an abnormal childhood is an extreme understatement. With these two 'influences' in my life, it's amazing that I came out of it reasonably sane and rational.
(if you're still here, you'll probably enjoy the Robert Tilton Fun Page!)
A few more little tidbits:
I find it truly hilarious that Googlism brings up the following statement:
jack chick is a christian dildo
And there's always Yahweh Ben Yahweh, THE living Son of God.
And one more kooky christian before I go:
"Suffice it to say, randomness, to be randomness, must be designed."
Give me a break!
posted by Edward Svengali @ Friday, March 18, 2005,
