Hallelujah. Boys, Girls, it's time for our Bible lesson for today. Get out your b-i-b-l-e and turn to Ezekiel 9:5-6.
"And to the others he said in mine hearing, Go ye after him through the city, and smite: let not your eye spare, neither have ye pity: Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and woman: but come not near any man upon whom is the mark; and begin at my sanctuary. Then they began at the ancient men which were before the house."
This means, boys and girls, that we must all be good little Christians and kill everybody that doesn't believe in the Lord. The Bible sets the moral standard, and we must abide. Surely!
Now, please turn with me to Second Samuel 12:11 for a very important lesson.
"This said the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun."
And here's a nice lovely heartwarming little verse to recite to your parents after today's valuable Sunday School lesson:
"Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up." (Hosea 13:16)
One final thought before prayer time. Really chew on this one, now. It'll change your life.
"Behold with a great plague will the Lord smite thy people and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods: And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day." (II Chronicles 21:14-15)
Praise Jesus. Now let's bow our heads for some prayer, and after that we'll have some delicious milk and cookies! Dear Heavenly Father...
Really, seriously, are these the words of wisdom that we can expect from a kind, compassionate and uplifting religion? Is the human race ever going to wake up from its self-imposed tyranny of the mind and get with the frikkin program?
I'm not anti-christian, so let's get that straight. I'm just disgusted by people who use ancient ideals as justification for violence, torture, mass slaughter, oppression, snobbery and bigotry. What good is religion if one only uses it to mask their true, monstrous intent? It's time for the world to wake up, accept the consequences of centuries of sheer stupidity and unworthiness, and learn how to catch up with the evolutionary process that passed us by so long ago.
(for more valuable bible lessons, turn to Dark Bible today. Then send an offering of your firstborn and we'll send you a free video tape of this Sunday's lesson (not really).
posted by novachild @ Wednesday, December 08, 2004,
